Chapter 9: Revising and Improving the Essay

What You Will Make

Create a reverse outline and a revised draft. A reverse outline describes what the paragraphs currently do, which may differ from what your original plan said they would do.

Read for the Argument First

Write the main point of each paragraph in the margin. Read those notes without the essay. Look for a missing step, repetition, or a conclusion that appears before its evidence. Decide whether the thesis itself needs to change before moving sentences around.

Ask a reader a focused question: “Where does my explanation stop making sense?” is more useful for this pass than “Is it good?” Compare the feedback with your purpose and assignment; you need not accept every proposed wording change.

Diagnose a Fictional Draft

An essay about “The Empty Chair,” the fictional passage in Chapter 3, has four body paragraphs: summary of Mina’s lunch; another summary of the backpack; an unexplained claim that she is confident; a history of chess.

The problem is not simply that the essay is long. Two paragraphs repeat events, the central interpretation lacks analysis, and the chess history does not establish the chair’s meaning.

Revision plan: combine the useful scene context; explain how removing the backpack after the student leaves supports a barrier reading; examine the invitation alongside the hand on the chair; remove the chess history unless a relevant assignment requires it. Revise “confident” to reflect the uncertainty in the source.

This repair changes the argument’s support, not only its appearance. A shorter version that merely deletes random sentences could still leave the same reasoning gaps.

Try It Yourself

Write one sentence naming each paragraph’s job. Mark keep, develop, move, or remove, and explain the most consequential decision. Revise that part before editing individual words.

Possible feedback response: “The reader could not see why the bag mattered. I added the timing of its removal and explained the connection.” Record what changed so you can check whether the concern is actually resolved.

Check Your Work

• Can a reader follow the points in their revised order?
• Is important evidence explained rather than merely included?
• Have you treated a difficult detail fairly?
• Does the opening now promise the argument you actually make?

After the structure works, revise sentences and proofread. Save the earlier draft so the revision remains recoverable.

Source Guidance

A reverse outline lists existing paragraph points so their order and gaps can be examined. (Harvard College Writing Center)